Photo Illustration by SHAI NIELSON

I’m scared. I’m scared to wake up and be a different person. I’m scared to wake up March 27 and be 16. 

It’s not necessarily that I’m frightened by being 16, but I’m afraid to never be 15, or 14 or even 6 ever again. My childhood isn’t ending at 16, but I’m now realizing that it’s definitely not the beginning either. 

I miss my Legos and my Pokemon cards (which now sit silently in the highest and darker corner of my closet, along with the rest of my childhood) and how bedtime was the time I dreaded most, now I’m lucky to even get a few hours of sleep.

I miss the incredible fashion sense every child possesses: the ability to match polka dot rain boots or Crocs with a green skirt and a pink shirt with two small pig tails in their hair, and still end up being the cutest kid in the world. 

I miss Blue’s Clues and Lizzie McGuire on a constant loop in the living room while I simultaneously play with six different toys; playing with a new one each second as I get bored with the last. 

I miss playing “house” and “school” with my pretend kitchen and imaginary classroom. I miss actually wanting to go to school and getting recess to run around and forget the world. 

There were no cliques. 

Boys had cooties.

Everyone was my friend and “enemy” was a word not incorporated in my vocabulary. 

Vegetables made you grow strong and tall, and chocolate chip cookies were the greatest thing ever invented. (And still are, I might add.)

I could be cliché and say that is was all simple, and I would be lying if I said otherwise. 

Simplicity is something that ends at a certain age, apparently. Or maybe not. Maybe we banish simplicity to only our memories because the real world has no room for such a “simple” concept.

We all have to admit we want to go back to being eight when 9:00 was late on a school night, homework was multiplying six and seven, Facebook was non-existent, and growing up was our biggest goal. Well, we achieved that goal, I guess. 

High school is not exactly grown up, but since our life mission has been to grow up fast, get out of this town and start our lives, we seem to have sacrificed anything and everything to be adults. 

As high schoolers, we are all in the process of growing up, but who says we can’t spend these years that we still have left of being young and careless to revive our childhoods and just live life?

That’s what we did as children; we didn’t care about appearances or worry about fitting in, we just lived. 

We may have lost some time. We may have forgotten what it’s like to be a kid. We may even have grown up too much to remember how to have fun, but listen closely to that kid inside you saying, “it’s not too late to still be a kid.” Because when I hear that kid inside me, I’m a little less scared to grow up.

By SHAI NIELSON